{March 14, 2014}   Three Little Words

missyou piano
there isn’t much i ask of you
or anyone really,
i don’t want anything i have to cajole out of anyone
that wouldn’t count to me
i don’t want anything that costs money
that’s meaningless as well,
(although a collar would be nice, i would never ask for it)
i only want what comes from your heart,
what means more  to me than diamonds or gold
is something very simple,
just your words, your thoughts, your feelings,
unasked for but desired above all else,
just those three little words,
the best gift i could ever hope for and you gave it to me,
unasked, unprompted, out of nowhere,
three little words that make me breathe easier than anything else;
“i miss you”, you told me,
and suddenly my whole world was righted


{March 11, 2014}   Emotional Rollercoaster

i don’t always understand
how this rollercoaster operates,
the up and downs are expected yet
my heart grows heavier with each downward spiral
inevitably i find myself facedown, my heart in my gut
unsure if i’ll ever get up again
although i try to keep my cool
i find it’s safer to freeze,
one solid chunk of ice, never to melt
to not know the fire,
flameless and forgotten
for reasons reasonable yet mystifying
i always let myself fall when i should keep on walking
because i always know the ending, even when i’m not the author,
if i could,
i would write another ever-after,
where towers and castles combine without war
and regret does not exist

{February 28, 2014}   Slaying My Dragons

it’s funny in a way,
how you know me better than even i do,
my limits are nonexistent
when it comes to you,
you know my ins and outs
as if you studied them for countless lifetimes
when the truth is i just lay them out in front of you unaware,
there to peruse at your leisure,
it confuses me sometimes, that you know me at all when i don’t even know myself,
that whole ‘i’m-not-worthy’ thing howls through my brain
on a regular basis,
but something changed, somehow,
where a piñata overflowing with insecurities once hung between me and everything i dreamed of
you came along and smashed them all to bits, that devilish grin curving your mouth
as you shredded my fears,
murdered those sharp shiny leeches, clinging to me desperately
in an attempt to bleed me dry,
you just laughed while you slayed my dragons
refusing to take credit for reminding me how to smile’
after all, you told me, it was there all along

{February 23, 2014}   I Belong To You

was that you last night?
(i’m sure it was)
or was it just a dream i dream too often,
(every night i dream of you)
in the middle of the night i conjure the feel of you,
(you’re burned into my soul)
you were here, inside me,
(my heart, my mind, my body, all made for you)
you moved in lock stock and barrel
(where i end and you begin is circular, and we go on endless)
somehow, that’s all i need to get through another day
(each breath i take tastes like you)
just the thought of you, the merest reminder of the way you feel
(your skin on my skin leaves me scorched)
whenever i’m near you, whether up close and personally personal
(i can feel your touch from the other side of the world)
or nothing more than a quick flash of the way your eyes look when those blue beauties lock on my bottom lip
( i tremble at the thought)
before your teeth sink down, your tongue tickles my mouth
(i smile in my sleep, and it takes me over the top)
i know it was you, you see, you are inside me always,
(and you always will be, you see, i belong to you)

{February 15, 2014}   His Words

She checks her phone incessantly, yet always the same result.
These are the hardest days, smack dab in the middle of winter without a reprieve from the bone chilling cold and never-ending snowfall.
She hurts.
Everywhere, she hurts. Her body hurts from the weather, her heart hurts from the world around her.
She feels disconnected.
Unaligned and unappreciated.
Such is her life.
She remembers the days before, when she was younger than she is now, full of hope and dreams-come-true. Before everything in her world came crashing down around her, leaving her alone to navigate the long days and longer nights. Even her dreams no longer offer her comfort, instead they are full of despair and disappointment, just a dream-version rehash of the everyday.
It’s enough to drive anyone insane.
She checks her phone again then pushes it to the side, almost out of sight but near enough to hear any notification alerts. As if the sound of an alert was a lifeline, a rescue from the sameness of each day.
She wonders if she ever crosses his mind. Hell, she wonders if she ever crosses anyone’s mind, but somehow she doubts it.
She lights another cigarette and stares at a blank page, wishing the words would come, but even they seem to have abandoned her.
Another cup of tea and still her mind is as blank as the page in front of her.
Snow continues to fall from the heavy sky, feathery flakes so big it’s like the clouds have been split open, pillow-like.
She wishes for something, but the truth is, if you asked her what she wished for, she couldn’t tell you for sure. Thoughts roil inside her mind so quickly she’s unable to get a grip on any one thing in particular, remaining passive as life continues to go on around her bubble of isolation.
She hears that sound, the one that sends a jolt low in her belly and nearly jumps out of her skin wanting to grab for the phone. Instead she forces herself to wait. Those few seconds of sweet torture never seem to last too long but she unlocks her phone fidgety, her fingers nervous, anxious for connection, even the smallest bit.
She smiles for days whenever she reads his words.
And she begins to write.
AUTHORS NOTE: Hello my lovelies, finally defrosted this huge iceberg that had me frozen in time and space. While I did hope perhaps Matt Smith would somehow show up with his TARDIS in an effort to regain those days I lost due to wintersnowicecoldfreezingwindicefallinghardheavyandsharp accompanied by outer-net loss-age too many times to make it worth signing on most days but wonder of wonders {c’mon, ‘miracle of miracles*} that’s been repaired and a new router is getting the first day jitters because he know he’s up as the old router retires…I hear he may go down to Florida to live with my BFF so this way he remains in the family and I know my router will be loved up by someone who knows what they’re doing and bam, old router has a new home in Florida and I know he’ll be safe with my Bestie….point… no excuses, no sorries, just beyond happy that the block broke as the ice melts on the Full Moon Valentines Day…also known as ‘hey it’s good to be back home again’ because it’s true. So if I didn’t use the right words just know that I’m so happy to once again dive back into my bubble world, and that, my lovelies, is due in great part to you. If your eyes are reading these words, then know they are meant for you, the best readers a girl can have!!! Much love for reading, commenting, letting your eyes skim down a page, whatever, I have much love for each and every one of you, you keep me writing and  there is a place in my heart for you all.

{January 16, 2014}   Superhero Saviors

there’s a little flame burning
it’s right there,
down deep with all my secrets
hidden from the light of day
locked-up invisible,
in the dark of night
you stoke me,
and just like that i turn into a superhero
waiting for the bat-signal-flash in my field of vision,
calling on my special powers,
a birthright handed down in various shades and speeds,
to be used only under certain circumstance,
you call and i fall, that’s a given,
so when nobody’s watching i fly,
follow the beacon lighting up my sky and soar,
doesn’t matter who saves the day in the end
it’s the respite from the dreaded dreary, however fleeting,
pockets of sanity to hold on to
refuge from the everyday battleground apocalypse
where we slip through the shadows
just to save a life

{January 11, 2014}   Constant Connection

film noirfilm

we avoided each other intentional,
sticking to opposite corners, stranger-like,
but only on the outside because the show must go on,
Oscar worthy performance if i do say so myself,
everything filtered through a film noir lens,
slipping through the shadows,
cigarette haze offering momentary respite
mixed with a sizzle electric,
but just enough to tickle,
enough to jog those memories, the ones that make my eyes pop,
i noticed time froze for mere seconds, the wail of a saxophone cradled us,
the meeting of the blue always brings on the crash of recollection
anticipation swirls through our blood, knowing,
if we could
finally we hear the sound of a crack and that’s a wrap,
back to separate corners where we edit the everyday,
capture that perfect shot on film,
proof that it isn’t all a dream,
we fell into each other accidentally,
the timing was slightly off
but we can manipulate time,
can’t you hear it?
it’s the sound of the last few grains of sand falling through the hourglass,
they fall in slow motion,
everything around us black and white,
except the sizzle between us,
a constant connection, on fire

{January 1, 2014}   Sizzle

surrounded by hush
self-inflicted to a certain extent,
not necessarily intentional,
but more a force of habit
and i am habitual,
it’s in the air, the coming storm,
though it’s been here all along,
ever since the numb set in, or longer,
a wicked little thought flashes through me,
sets off a chain reaction that blasts through the hush,
slamming through, ripping it all to pieces
and a flush slithers around my skin,
inside and out,
remembering how hot a glance can sizzle and burn
sizzle eyes

{December 22, 2013}   Cherish ~ Daily Prompt


i wonder sometimes if you realize
how i cherish you
it’s not just the way you press all my buttons
or your power to make me lose control over my ability to speak
on certain occasions
it’s not the way you glow so bright it can hurt my eyes
or the way you make me believe i’m worthy,
a feeling i’m not quite comfortable with
as you point out to me,
there’s a twinkle in your eyes that mesmerizes me
and when i see you looking back i shiver,
you can loosen your tie one minute or unzip your jeans the next,
makes no matter to me what color your collar is,
not when you slipped that invisible collar, the one that counts, round my neck,
marked me as yours long before i knew it,
once upon a time you gave me the gift of my self,
you stole a piece of my soul and filled it with this,
cherishing you,
bits of us merged together always

{December 19, 2013}   What We Don’t Say

it’s funny sometimes,
the way you pop into my mind
and i stare at my phone debating,
do i or don’t i?
so i don’t
and that’s when that little ping goes off,
the one that goes straight to the core of me
because i know the dance has begun,
if everything is in alignment
i know i’ll soon hear your voice
and for those minutes,
regardless of the longevity
everything is perfect
a line tossed my way letting me know
things aren’t always as they seem,
and anything is possible
when we believe the impossible,
we don’t always talk about certain things
the ones better left unsaid and yes you get the credit,
but we can say anything and oh, we do,
you may be multi-tasking
but i’m finding me,
because you opened my eyes,
it’s good to see again

et cetera