joannebest











{September 4, 2015}   Kitty Crawl

catstalk

kitty vision,
eyes open wide,
glow and reflect,
i take You all in by the light of dusk or
not-yet-morning light,
slouched back, supine, alert in reverie,
silent sizzle
it’s not a stalk but a draw, a pull,
insistent and incapable of taking no for an answer
so I slink,
low and slow i take it all in
no words, just purrs and hisses,
instinctual,
ingrained from the ancient tribes,
when primal ruled the lands
and winners took all
to live another day
it’s in our dna,
impossible to resist, this pre-ordained,
You dangle treats and i pounce,
positive reinforcement or force of habit,
maybe,
but that certain growl tells me
You control the outcome

kittycrawl

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{September 2, 2015}   Who Owns Who

catman
like a kitty needing to curl up near You
i purr at Your touch
scenting You, much like
the way You left Your mark on me,
waiting patient and still
i crawl in Your direction at the sound of Your voice,
as i feel the pull of Your invisible leash
attached to my invisible collar,
alert and ready to leap across the room
or strut slow and low, tail in the air
searching for the slightest bit of Your attention
a gentle nip leads to a salty lick,
cat-like signs of devotion
yet it never crosses my mind
who owns who
catwoman



{July 21, 2014}   Selective Amnesia

carsex
let me spin the wheel into the past,
so i can feel your mouth on mine
for the first time,
see the fire in my eyes
mirrored in yours,
feel your hands in my hair
as you circle for the kill,
i wanna forget,
not everything, but a little bit here
and a little bit there,
temporarily,
a do-over of a sort,
not for any reason really,
just to relive the pure pleasure,
the newness of it all
and the shivers you spread
through every cell in my body
sexycouple



{May 2, 2014}   Let The Games Begin

games3
you’re fencing again
all parry and no thrust
while i sit static,
watching life go by,
all the reasons in the world
won’t change the craving
no matter how valid,
like a vampire needs that lifeblood to live,
so i react, instant and shameless
at the slightest show of life,
but still i can’t keep up,
there was a time when i could outrun you
with my hands tied behind my back,
now the thought makes me stumble and i fall to my knees,
counting on the combined spidey-sense
to strike, friction into fire
as we let the games begin
games4



{April 25, 2014}   Morning Minutia

morning4
it’s the morning minutia i miss most,
you and me,
a cup of tea without boundaries or barricades
and everything on the table,
nothing sacred, nothing secret,
just open roads and smooth sailing
because you never steer me wrong,
even in your absence i hear your voice in my head
letting me find my way, urging me on
to find my perfect me,
no matter where you are
there’s a certain strength you built inside me,
instinctive and innate,
connected through the blood line of the ancient ones
or maybe just a crazy happenstance,
something put me here,
now,
this way,
these days,
but lately there’s a more frequently occurring calm,
i’m beginning to trust the absence
even when the shadow-monsters whisper ‘never forever’,
this me i’m becoming is learning to banish those thoughts
designed to break me and i breathe easy,
the sound of your voice silky smooth
sliding through my mind
keeps those waiting times safe and sure
and much more bearable
morning1



{April 4, 2014}   April Showers Bring Me Tears

momfriends My Mom is 2nd from the right, the hot redhead in green

Last night I dreamed of my Mother.
I’ve dreamed of her a few times since she died but I never saw her face in my dreams. It was always the back of her head, or just that dream-logic-knowledge that she was there with me in the dream. This was the first time I saw her face, looking back at me.
I woke up to a gray rainy day knowing I had a dentist appointment in a few hours, turned on the kettle and fed my meowing babies. As I plugged my phone into the charger I noticed there was a text message, it wasn’t until I began to read it that it hit me.
For those few minutes between waking and looking at my phone, I’d forgotten.
For those few minutes, I forgot my Mother was dead.
For the first time in nearly a year, I lost it. I broke down. Great heaving sobbing break down.
~
It’s no secret I’ve been in the dumps lately.
One of the little habits I have is writing everything down, little notes on a calendar like a mini shorthand diary.
So I knew the day before yesterday, April 2nd last year, she went to the hospital. Only now I am aware of the outcome.
Now I know the ups and downs, released to rehab perfectly fine, only to pass away less than 8 hours later.
~
I’m not wallowing in it, there are a lot of other reasons I’m not feeling up to par, but this, grief, it’s harder than I knew it would be and I don’t know how to do it right.
And I understand it’s different for everyone and we all deal in our own way but I don’t know my way.
I’m lost.
Alone.
Because aren’t we always alone? When you break it down, we are alone. Or maybe it’s just my tunnel vision right now.
I hope it’s my tunnel vision.
~
A few hours ago my Dad called me. My cousin Doreen, my Dad’s (deceased) only Sister’s daughter, died today. She had stage 4 lung cancer. She was in her 60’s and I can’t count all the times I spent at the house with Doreen watching me when I was a child.
I should channel my grief into writing, this I know to be true.
I fear I need a few hours to process, although truth be told, all I want to do is go to sleep and find my Mom again.
I could use a Mom-hug, because there is nothing better.
~
Before I went to sleep last night, I prayed as hard as I could, I begged “Mom, please, I need you, please come to me in my dream, I just need my Mother” and she did.
Is it a coincidence because she was on my mind when I fell asleep?
I choose to believe it was her, because even though it was only a brief period of time, for a little while, my Mom was with me again.
~
But deep in my heart, I know she lives on through me as her blood flows through my veins.
I am truly my Mother’s daughter and for that reason alone, I am blessed.
momdad My beautiful Mom, with my Dad looking at the woman he was lucky enough to marry.



hiddenhug
once,
you whispered in my ear
telling me we are inevitable because
we just are,
i grinned in return,
positive i heard you wrong over the beat of the band,
wondering how you were able to see the invisible girl,

once,
you claimed me as yours
just to keep me safe from harm and
i smiled and agreed, laughing the whole while,
knowing your warrior instincts kicked in,
as you would never leave a damsel in distress,
even though i’m tough enough to save myself
the flash in your eyes was enough to scare away the riff-raff,
making my heart beat a bit faster, yet not knowing why

once,
you took me by surprise,
unaware that your arms were about to wrap around me,
pulling me closer,
into your leather-clad embrace,
the world melted away when your mouth took mine,
a hint of possession in your kiss
my surrender unmistakable when you made my knees buckle
and i sank into the inevitable
hiddenhold
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/25/prompt-moments-to-remember/



{March 24, 2014}   Simply

rorchach heart red
a tiny little bit of me
bleeds out through my fingers
splattered on the page Rorschach-like,
open to interpretation to the casual observer
although you see through me like sunbeams,
soaked into my skin translucent,
you break it down,
every puzzle piece interlocks, simply,
and the dots connect
when your eyes are looking,
no place to hide even if i wanted to,
you scent me every time
sniff out all my secrets scattered far and wide
when the wind whips through,
my deepest thoughts ripple
like pebbles pond-skipping across the surface,
somehow, you manage to calm the violent waves
deep inside my soul,
every
single
time
ripples1



{March 21, 2014}   That Tingle

energy
sometimes out of nowhere
there’s that tingle along my spine,
it shoots up quick like a volcanic eruption
zips through my veins till it settles down low
electromagnetic pulse in that one spot
and i wonder to myself if you felt it too,
at that very same moment in time
because the zap’s too strong for me alone,
before i know it i’m slipping into a pool of lava,
hot and flowing in all directions
waiting breathless for those urgently needed words
real or imagined,
they have the same outcome,
like the flash of a camera exploding in my eyes
leaving everything shiny
and me at your mercy
happy for it
enerrgy



{March 20, 2014}   Invisible Threads

entwined legs
in case you weren’t sure
wherever i am,
you surround me
interwoven threads of uncommon commonality
that sameness at the core makes it so,
see, no length of miles,
no twisted string tangled in knots in all the wrong places,
not a thing strong enough able to break this tie that binds
because i stretch,
as far as i can then further still,
and you soothe the beasts i carry,
squash them like blood-sucking mosquitos
till i’m whole again,
if i told you that you save me always
perhaps you’d think it’s just another day at the office,
because the best superheroes never tally up their saves,
but in the deepest dark,
when doubt tries to whisper your name,
remember you are embedded in me,
under my skin and branded on my flesh,
invisible strands electric, marking me yours
entwined tree



et cetera