{August 21, 2014}   Broken ~

haiku, of a sort

slow separation
inevitable letdown
connection broken


{October 28, 2013}   Princess Of Nothing

two steps forward
and one step back, although,
it could be the other way around,
i have a tendency to mix things up,
sometimes i can fake my way through,
but you always manage to see right through me,
i’m not sure if that’s your talent or mine
i wear it well, or so I’ve been told,
but that was back when i believed those things,
when all my friends weren’t dead yet,
and i could reach as high as i wanted,
while rolling in the mud,
i was a princess once,
with a throne made of red velvet
and anything i wanted was mine,
i never asked for anything though
maybe i would have been better off if i did,
in retrospect, i should have taken all those hearts,
wrapped them in foil
and tossed them into the sea,
to sink deeper than i ever did
at least then i would have something to reach for,
to pull me out of these depths

{July 8, 2013}   Monday Morning Blah-ging

Blah humbug.
I’m trying desperately to find something to sing write about.
I keep looking at the calendar waiting for something. If I don’t know what it is I’m waiting for how will I know when it gets here?
Let’s see, what would Buffy do?
SPOILER WARNING: Don’t watch this if you don’t want to be spoiled for Season 5 and Season 6. Better safe than sorry

{June 19, 2013}   Update : Blech

i'm fine
I don’t love today.
2 months ago to the day my Mom died.
It’s also 5 years since my Mother-In-Law died and, in a bad cosmic-joke way, it’s also my wedding anniversary.
My Mom was always the only one other than me who remembered my wedding anniversary.
This year I’m the only one who remembered my wedding anniversary.
I miss my Mom.

{steps off pity train and goes back to working on the next Tower Story chapter thing for this evening’s post-age}

{June 11, 2013}   I Am Nothing

frozen hand
wind chill factor minus fifty degrees
around the confines of my soul
heart set to permafrost and
no amount of sunshine can melt away these icy layers
protect and reject
everything you say to me
for i am cold and alone
frigid and frightened
fearful of this path that lies before me
where ridicule is the norm
and i am nothing
i am nothing

{May 21, 2013}   No Evidence

sad angel
is enough to keep me warm lately
little pitchfork-demons dance ’round my head
keeping me off balance and unsure
and I’m freezing in the bowels of hell shaking like a leaf
it’s going to be ok is what you told me
and it sparked a flame for a moment
more memory than anything
leftover from before the world ended
back when summer sizzled
and icy winter glimmered in your eyes
enough to make me burn
now the days stretch on
while your scent still tickles the back of my throat
there’s no evidence that anything will ever be ok again
but you rumble calm and soothing
even from a distance
you make me want to believe

sometimes I almost do

{May 19, 2013}   That Certain Hush

there’s a certain hush
fallen over me you and everyone in between
maybe it’s just the rain falling down
those angels up there weeping so dignified
me down here crying my fucking eyeballs out, red-nosed and sniffley
eyes wet with overflow carving out a familiar path for those tears to fall
same scene, different backdrop

{May 17, 2013}   Into The Nothing


She doodles more often than not, a plain good old fashioned number two pencil flying over the empty page as she encourages something she deems good-enough to manifest itself into magic.
Half the time she stares into the nothing.
She’s surrounded by it, like a bubble.
Regardless of the location, the nothing seems to follow her everywhere she goes.
Her own personal nothing.
It’s not as bad as it sounds, she would tell you if you asked her.
She fills the void around her with her own imaginings culled from everything she’s ever known as well as things she hasn’t.
Sometimes she writes things down in a little notebook she carries with her.
Random words she likes the sound of when spoken out-loud, observations she makes as she stares out the window watching the world go by.
She’s always alone even when she’s not.

et cetera