AUTHORS NOTE: Fanfiction isn’t my usual forte but I’m making an exception here just because.
But when I’m headed toward this place I’m trying to avoid aka Depression Land nothing makes me feel better than the BuffyVerse. I wrote a little ditty that falls under the heading of fanfiction, a little longer than a drabble, anyway I decided to dig it up, dust it off and play with it a bit, for the love of Buffy and for my own sanity’s sake. This is a little peek into what Buffy’s up to in the beginning of Season Nine (the canon comic continuation of the television show, written by the same writers). Anything that might appear spoilery may or may not be because, fanfic and comics, not show, difference yes? No? Possibly? Also I own nothing at all because Joss Whedon owns everything that matters in the whole wide world,Buffy and the Scoobies belong to him, I’m just playing in his backyard. A little.
She spends a lot of time on the fire escape these days.
The apartment always feels crowded, and the fire escape is the only place she can be alone with her thoughts.
She knows they’re lucky they found an affordable place to live in San Francisco and she’s grateful for the company, especially when she wakes up screaming. But lately she feels like a third-wheel.
“Don’t be stupid Buffy, it’s not like Xander and me can’t keep our hands off each other.” Dawn voice floated around stacks of books and boxes yet to be unpacked. Junior Watcher little sis was way past the Junior level.
“Xander and I,” Buffy automatically corrected, “and stupid-Buffy is the only Buffy I’ve been lately Dawnie.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself Buff, you’ve been stupid-Buffy for way longer than lately.” Dawn snickered. “Look how long it took you to figure out Xander and me’ve been making hot monkey-love.”
“I’m still older than you Dawn, stop rubbing my lack-of-sex-life in my face.”
“I’m still taller than you Buffy, stop rubbing my- wait… I’m so not even going to try and finish that sentence. I sense a gigantic ewww down that road.”
Dawn leaned over Buffy, slumped down on the couch that served as her bed. Dawn kissed the top of her head and Buffy tried to muster up something, anything, as she continued to stare at the television.
“Hey Buff, I hear the tv works better if you turn it on. Just sayin’.”
Dawn sighed. She hated seeing her sister so down, it worried her.
Not in an I-hope-my-sister-doesn’t-try-to-kill-all-our-friends worried way, but still, a little on the worried side of the road.
If only Willow would come back from wherever the hell she went this time.
“G’night sis,” Dawn leaned into Buffy and hugged her tighter than usual. “I’m off to make hot monkey-lo-”
“Go!” Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister’s attempts to make her laugh and gave Dawn a gentle push towards the bedroom.
“Give Xander a goodnight kiss for me,” she joked.
Dawn looked over her shoulder with narrowed eyes and tripped over a stack of research books she’d been unpacking earlier, landing flat on her ass. A mumbled “Owww!”  followed by a stomp into the bedroom where Xander was probably already asleep by now.
“Great, my annoying sister gets the guy and I get the fire escape. Same shit different city. And still Buffy remains in a perpetual state of love-lifelessness.
Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Same as it ever was.
“Hot chicks with superpowers my ass,” Buffy muttered as she tried to ignore the rush of Faith-feelings and all they entailed.

Everything was so bloody complicated and fuck you Spike for giving me potty mouth, she thought to herself.
Sighing, Buffy grabbed her denim jacket and headed to the window overlooking the fire escape.
So she wasn’t the Chosen One anymore. Big deal. She should be used to it by now.
It was, for the most part, a relief to not be solely responsible for the world, to have an army of Slayers worldwide was a blessing really.
So why did she feel so alone?
She’d made it her own, that little bit of escape outside the window. A cozy corner where she could spot the odd vampire or two or just lay back and look at the stars and think about all those things she should’ve done differently.
Back when time almost seemed like a friend. Or at least an acquaintance.
Now each day was just something else to get through.
She missed Spike, it was as simple as that.
Buffy slipped out the window.
At least some things never change.

et cetera