{December 24, 2015}   Harder Than They Told Me

well it’s Christmas Eve
but I don’t feel Christmas in my heart
oh it’s Christmas Eve and I don’t feel a thing
yeah it’s Christmas Eve
and memories keep running through my mind
yeah it’s Christmas Eve and you aren’t coming back

they told me it gets easier as the years crawl by
they said there’d come a time
when I would smile
they told me I would feel your warmth
your love surrounding me
but all I feel are teardrops in my eyes

nothing is the same since you’ve been gone
no matter how I try to get along
nothing much makes sense to me
I’m not the girl I used to be
another Christmas Eve again without you here


for all those alone at Christmas, even if you’re surrounded by people, and for those alone wishing desperately that they weren’t… for all of us who suffered loss of any kind…. sometimes, it’s more raw than you expected and…. well, as alone as we feel, remember, we aren’t alone, even when it seems like it, but sometimes we need to wallow… shutting up now to watch Christmas movies set unrealistic expectations so we can all feel worse about our lives 😛

Merry Christmas my lovelies, you keep me writing, and while I’ve been MIA lately, I’m dipping my toes in and New Year Resolutions and all {happy dance} so try and enjoy, and I will too, a New Year and new beginnings my friends, yes?
oh, one more thing, this is being written as song lyrics and I just spit these words out a little while ago and didn’t want to forget, keep you updated on the outcome of these words 🙂

All the love from me to you ❤


catrouble says:

It’s bloody hard Joanne and it pure D sucks. Sending lots of prayers and healing energy for you and wishing you a loving and peaceful Christmas.

Hugs and blessings…Cat

It does slowly get easier but it will never be properly easy. Sending you transatlantic hugs, hope you find them useful. xox ❤

Hi Joanne, hugs to you. I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time this year. And I am not going to tell you any of the ‘it gets easier’ stuff either, because I can see that you are sad and miss your mom and dad. I still believe you are not alone, and that the warmth and love are there waiting for you. And you already know what I do in these moments, grab someone and cuddle, hug, be with someone. 🙂 Maybe this doesn’t help to feel less pain, but it somehow helps not to feel lonely, even though you might feel alone because loved ones are missing. Sorry for being clumsy with my words today; what I want to say is that I am thinking of you and hope you are having a Christmas time that is as good as possible. And I definitely want you surrounded by love.

hugs and love


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