{January 2, 2015}   It’s All Fine

fake smile
those instincts of mine
they fail me every time,
slither and slink and go awry
and my memory fools me,
shadows form in certain places
taking me back to other times,
when i believed the words you said
and maybe you actually meant them,
i build walls, a fortress to hide behind
painted lipstick red
so i can smile and say it’s fine,
it’s all fine i say,
and yes, i am happy beyond belief because,
you see,
everything is fine,
and no,
you’re mistaken i tell you,
there are no tears in my voice
no longings or expectations,
because i’m fine, it’s all fine,
the reflection you left burned into my brain,
of course it still glows
but i’m fine
that waver you hear in my words
is nothing more than auto-tune,
intentional distraction, mindless noise
to keep the screaming in my head submerged
to a whisper,
a weak defense,
but a defense nonetheless,
so please,
ignore all flashing lights and warning signs,
because i’m fine,
it’s all fine
alone hoody


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