{April 3, 2014}   Not To Be

“to be, or not to be, that is the question…” from Hamlet

i’ve lost sight of the paths before me,
somehow they merged just as the fog settled in,
in my clumsiness i stumbled, leaving layers of skin behind
mixed with my blood, but all traces of me will fade,
i always do eventually, fade away unnoticed,
i am convenient when i am convenient,
as it always was, so shall it still be,
you will remember the parts you choose to remember,
the parts that paint you in white but me,
well that’s a little more complicated,
i’m a red-shirt dressed in black
disposable depending on the plot,
the fog’s getting thicker by the day,
now, when i’m huddled into myself
holding on by a thread
beginning to unravel,
at my weakest, stormy weather hits hard
and once again i’m lost
i wonder if you’d notice me gone,
i know i won’t


Such poignancy and depth and yet so sad and isolated… and as for the quandary, “I wonder if you’d notice if I’m gone?” – I would !

Thank you Dearest Joseph, You made me feel so much better, I guess it’s a difficult time for me in many ways right now, with the added bonus of the 1 year mark of losing my best friend/Mom approaching, I’m in a very vulnerable place, I considered deleting my entire blog actually; thank you for changing my mind xox ♥♥♥

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