joannebest











{January 4, 2014}   Character Intervention

chairr
“Tie her hands tighter, she’s a sneaky one, she is. Thinks she can wiggle out of anything. Make sure she can’t get away.”
“Hey! Wait a minute,” I said indignantly. “What the fuck is go-mmmmmmmmm!!!”
“Gag her; the only time she shuts up is when she has something in her mouth.”
I thought the voices sounded vaguely familiar but couldn’t quite figure out who was talking. Whoever they were, they’d blindfolded me. They must be pro’s.
One minute I was sleeping the sleep of the depressed and exhausted, next thing I knew I was tied to a chair, couldn’t see a thing, and now somebody had shoved something in my mouth so I couldn’t say a word.
I hate when I can’t say a word.
I also hated the taste of the washcloth somebody shoved in my mouth to shut me up. It tasted like soap.
Another voice spoke up. “Can’t we cut her some slack? She’s had a rough time lately; you know it could just as easily be one of us tied to that chair.”
I heard a deep male growl followed by yet another voice, this one female, whispering something to the growler about how they had to do this but they didn’t have to be so rough. I assumed she was talking about me.
I had no clue as to what was going on. It couldn’t be kidnapping because nobody I knew had money for ransom and I couldn’t think of a single reason anyone would want to kidnap me anyway.
Maybe I was dreaming, except the washcloth in my mouth and the restraints holding me down threw that theory out the window. I couldn’t even ask them what they wanted because whoever shoved the washcloth in my mouth decided duct tape was needed to keep it in place, my tongue was starting to hurt from trying to push it out of my mouth and I was doing my best to squirm my way out of the restraints.
“We’re not trying to hurt you,” another voice this time. How many people were here?
“We just want to talk to you. And we want you to listen. If you promise to listen to what we have to say nod your head and we’ll take off the blindfold and take that washcloth out of your mouth. But if you don’t let us have our say it goes right back in, ok?”
Huh? Who were these people and what did they want with me? Only one way to find out so I nodded my head and true to her word, the calm-voiced female took off my blindfold first. Maybe she wanted to gauge my reaction before she yanked off the duct tape.
Can’t say I blamed her when my eyes adjusted to the light and I saw I was surrounded by people I both knew and didn’t know. There was a familiarity in each pair of eyes watching my every move but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I knew them, but didn’t.
I sat still, my eyes taking in each and every one of them staring at me.
They stood around me, arms folded. I could feel the hostility in the air, mixed with disappointment, all of it aimed at me.
“Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”
The woman speaking was so beautiful she was hard to look at. She seemed to glow but it was her eyes that bore into me, kaleidoscope eyes swirling with colors that had me mesmerized. Dressed from head to toe in tight leather, she held a whip in her right hand, smacking it against the palm of her left hand. When I didn’t answer she cracked the whip in the air coming dangerously close to my face.
“You do realize she can’t answer you till you take your makeshift gag out of her mouth,” said the large green man with the yellow cat-like eyes.
Leather-girl’s eyes flashed red at green man, the look of annoyance on her face rose to a level I’d never seen before. She was scaring the hell out of me but I tried to keep calm and breathe. Through my nose.
Green man and leather girl were now involved in a stare-off and if I had to guess, they were arguing silently. Who were these people and what did they want with me?
As their silent argument continued my eyes took in the rest of the crowd surrounding me.
A tall thin woman with gorgeous red hair and flashing blue eyes stood next to two identical strapping hunks of man. One of the men winked at me and flashed a grin revealing fangs and the redheaded beauty jabbed him in his side with her elbow.
There was a young boy, looked to be in his late teens wearing glasses that were obviously the wrong size. He kept pushing them up the bridge of his nose, but I could barely see his face, his hair was unkempt and covered most of his features.
Standing next to him was another woman, by the looks of her she was young but her eyes made her look like she’d been through too much for any one person to handle. Something about her stirred something inside me, made me want to comfort her which was kinda weird considering she was part of the kidnapping contingent.
Standing next to them was a tall statuesque woman; her hair flowed down her back in natural curls, an aura of goodness emanated from her and she looked at me with a mixture of kindness and disappointment.
What the hell did I do to her?
She was flanked by a dark dangerous looking man on one side and a dog with three heads on the other. I wondered if somebody spiked my drink last night and I was hallucinating.
The arguing between leather girl and green man had slowly grown from silent to loud and louder until they were screaming at each other.
“Would you two knock it off?” A girl I hadn’t noticed pushed her way through the crowd surrounding me and leaned into me. “Sorry doll, it’ll only hurt for a second.” With that she yanked the duct tape off my mouth and pulled the soapy washcloth out of my mouth.
“Oww!” I couldn’t help it, duct tape hurts when it’s yanked off your face.
“Give me a bottle of water,” she shouted at the sexy leather-clad dominatrix woman and a bottle of Poland Springs water appeared in the girl’s hand.
I was impressed with her, dominatrix leather girl was not someone to be taken lightly, but this girl, who was kindly holding the bottle to my mouth, she seemed like she didn’t have a fear in the world.
“Sip slowly,” she said, “we don’t want you getting sick-”
“She means don’t puke on her,” leather girl said.
After shooting her a glare she turned back to me. “Ignore her, she’s not going to hurt you, none of us are, we just need to talk to you. Oh yeah, my name is Catt by the way. She,” Catt waved her hand in leather girl’s direction, is my Muse. She’s also my Djinn but that’s a complicated story-”
“A story you of all people should know,” said leather girl.
The big green hulk-like one stepped forward with a sweeping bow, “I can’t tell you my name but you already know that.”
Wait a minute, this was beginning to sound familiar.
“It damn well better sound familiar!” Leather girl growled as she read my mind.
“Get out of my head,” I said defensively.
That’s the whole point of this little pow-wow!” she snarled. “We’re trying to get out of your head and you’re not cooperating!”
Silence from me as I began to get it.
“Ahem, can we get on with the introductions? I’ve got things to do, I don’t have time for this shit. I’m Alison by the way, but you call me Ally, and this, of course, is The Kid.”
The shaggy haired kid pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose for the millionth time and huffed, “Stop calling me Kid. And you,” he pointed at me, “least you can do is give me a name.”
I was sensing a mutiny on my hands which was apparently my own fault.
“Don’t tell me,” I said as I looked at the fanged trio, “You’re Lizzie, and you’re James and Ian, or Ian and James, you two really are identical!”
I looked around at the other three and it hit me. “Oh shit, you’re Hades and Persephone.”
A trio of barks sounded annoyance.
“Sorry Cerbie, Didn’t mean to leave you out.” I said with as much humility as I could muster up under the circumstances.
“But you did! You left us all out. You’re so busy jumping from story to story you lost your focus!”
Leather whip girl was getting agitated pacing back and forth snapping her whip.
They were right, all of them, all of this was my fault.
These were my own creations and I’d left them high and dry while I whittled away my time writing poetry and putting things off because I couldn’t make a decision.
I wanted to spend time with all of them but unless I figure out a way to clone myself I had to make a choice, stick with it, and finish something instead of hopping around from story to story.
All of the sudden, out of nowhere, a motorcycle came crashing right through the wall screeching to a halt a mere inch or so from the chair I was still tied to.
Pulling off the motorcycle helmet my eyes nearly popped out of my head as a young girl with blue hair looked me straight in the eye and smirked.
“Come on, get off your ass already. As you already know, I’m Blue and you’ve got an appointment with a not-so-little thing called the Fiction Relay and things are wrapping up over there. TRG is the last person you wanna piss off.”
She hopped off the bike and strolled over to me, released me from my restraints and grabbed me by the hand.
“Sorry guys, you’re all gonna have to wait a little bit longer,” Blue said to the crowd. “She’s needed bad and she’s needed now. I’ll make sure she gets back to you soon as possible.”
They all stood there open-mouthed, all the characters I’d created and abandoned and was about to abandon again.
“I’ll be back soon, I promise,” I yelled out as Blue and I sped away on her motorcycle to the sound of a lot of screaming, arguing, and cursing.
Oh man, I was in for it when I got back.
But first I had some things to take care of in the mountains.
Fiction Relay, here I come.
blue bike
AUTHOR’S NOTE: it seems a few characters from some of my WIPs (W’sIP?) got together and ganged up on me to get my ass in gear, snowstorms, internet problems due to said snowstorms and the whole holiday thing kept me away for longer than they liked so they kidnapped me (while the internet kept going out by the way) to give me a little talking to but Blue from Fiction Relay got my ass out of there because they’re all frozen in time waiting for me, you know, the mountains and coyotes and all the good stuff won’t unfreeze till I get my ass in gear so Blue got me out of a sticky situation that will be waiting for me after I write my chapter of TRG’s Fiction Relay. Time to get working. It’s a new year, time to get my ducks in a row. But my characters are gonna kick my ass if I don’t get writing, so back to the New Normal. I hope all you lovelies will join me. Time to take down the tree and get writing. xox

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KC says:

*snrx* Hi, twin! Welcome back. Sorry about that, she’s a little impatient right now…go fig. *hugs* See ya there!

KC



ha! MY turn to pounce and purrrrrrrrrrrrrr =^..^= my little twinlet ;D
here’s to a sense of normalcy! wait, did moi say that????? 😛



KC says:

Normal who-what-now? What is this “normal” of which you speak? ;p

It’s so funny…how the twists and changes of FR are so much…tighter, now, the curve more perilous…but that’s what makes it so fun! *pounce-lix*

PS: Sorry for being so out of it for so long. Seems like writing is the only thing that keeps me sane, but writing -to- someone is too much like talking, and I get flustered and tired. 😦 Meh. *hugs*



Andy says:

My first reaction, on seeing the picture at the beginning, was ‘what have they done to Amy Pond?’



Hee!!!! Now that you mention it, it does look like Amy Pond! I’m sorry, I just miss the Pond’s so much! I like Clara well enough but no one can replace the Ponds! Oh Eleven, I miss you already, sob! 😉
So I’m confused, was 11 really 12 and the new Doctor will be 13? Is Moffitt playing fast and loose with Who canon??? Whatever, I shall remain loyal to the TARDIS always 😀



Andy says:

Apparently the new Doctor is still classed as no.12.
I’ve still not got over no.4! Tom Baker appearing at the end of the anniversary special-grown men were sniffling into their cocoa. Wasn’t I!



Yes you better get going or your characters will eat you alive! haha Very interesting and here’s to your BEST WRITING in 2014! 🙂



They’ve already begun to nibble on my toes Pete! It kinda tickles but I know that just like everything else, it’ll turn to pain and there will be tears and trauma and a big old mess 😀
I’m holding an imaginary champagne glass to toast to 2014 being THE year for both of us! Oh shit. I toasted too hard and now there’s a crack in my glass. 😀



KC says:

Hrmm…crack in your “glass”, huh? That’s what -you- say… :p



hahah thanks that’s my first laugh of the day! I’m looking forward to 2014 and turning 50 soon (YAY).

My characters inhabit me so I related to how you presented this. 🙂



First time reader, loved it !!!!



Yay! My characters get very cranky when I ignore them 😀



This had me laughing out loud! Great post as always, I love how your characters take on a life of their own.
And then in comes Blue! Although she doesnt know me that well it seems – when do i ever get pissed off? 😉



KC says:

Heh. Remember, boss, she’s still a teenager, no matter how old she seems sometimes. And to a teenager, everyone is and acts and thinks exactly as they do. So, as you are the Boss, you are the one to appease, because of course you get frustrated and angry at delay…like she does. *g*



Hee! See, Blue knows ME well enough to know just what to say to get me moving! And btw dearest boss man, I’m still working on getting some damn alone time in this crazy house so I can get back to normal 😀 like that’ll ever happen!
And KC my little purr-ball, I cracked my champagne glass while virtually toasting Pete….you is silly 😛



Uh oh, I better get to typing or I’m gonna be in trouble with our fearless and most humble leader ♥♥♥ ;-D



KC says:

“…you is silly 😛 ” Yer durn tootin’, missy! Silliest something-er-other in the West! And I live in the East! And I have no idea why I’m shouting! (btw, twinster? LYL. *lix*)

Dutch, by way of KC



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