{December 31, 2013}   Endings And Beginnings

I hate New Years Eve.
Poor New Years Eve probably doesn’t deserve my hate, it’s not New Years Eve’s fault it’s the last day of the year but I wish it would stop being pushed in my face that we should all happily celebrate the end of one year and the beginning of another. It’s just too much pressure for this girl to handle.
Maybe I don’t want to stay up till midnight and drink champagne.
Maybe I would rather watch the Doctor Who marathon on BBCA. Or read. Or write. Or sleep.
That’s what gets me I think, the expectations of a brand spanking new year when really it’s just another day after day as life keeps moving.
The last few years have been less than kind to me for the most part; too much death and destruction in my wake has left me cynical and hopeless.
Little pockets of the happy have shown up here and there, but my shoulders are hurting from carrying around all this baggage.
I hope I can shrug it all off tonight when the ball drops and clean my slate so I can start again without the bad. Tabula rasa.
For anyone who cares, the Benefit the other night was a rousing success. It’s taken me this long to recover, 3 shots of Captain Morgan equals 3 days to revive myself. Which is why I don’t like to drink but I needed a few shots of false courage to get my ass onstage after a 2 year hiatus. I had so much fun onstage I forgot to be nervous. There were 19 bands playing that night so as soon as I can get my hands on some photos and video I will post some here, in other words, as soon as I figure out how to get the video from the camera into my laptop, I’ll post me singing with my band as promised. Or I’ll just steal someone else’s vids and pictures from facebook as they slowly appear.
But back to NYE, I know I have to put on that brave face and pretend I’m having fun so being the good little girl that I am (hey! I so am a good girl…sometimes…mostly…it depends on your definition of ‘good’) I shall go with the flow. Maybe if I pretend hard enough I can make it be true.
Resolutions. We make them then break them but I will give it the old Girl Scout try and resolve to write more, pick a WIP and stick to it till done instead of jumping back and forth between W’sIP. Easier said than done but I will do my best to make it happen. I also resolve to be selfish. Yes, selfish. Because I never put myself on my own list and seem to slip off everyone else’s list too, therefore I shall be selfish and think about my own damn self for a change {she said as she simultaneously baked a cake for someone’s birthday while cleaning up the mess that grew overnight as she slept}.
I also resolve to answer all the wonderful comments you leave me, I know I’ve been lax when it comes to that but as I think on it, I should change that resolution to figuring out a way to manage my time in a more productive way. And perhaps I can strengthen my spine when certain people yank my chain knowing I’ll drop everything and run at the snap of a finger. There are certain people, usually falling under the category of family, who know me well enough to manipulate my emotions and I fall for it every damn time.
So to sum things up, I guess it’s best to just say I’m really happy to see the ass-end of 2013 and wish for a better year in 2014.
Happy New Year my friends, you, above all else, have been the shining star for me this past year.
I wish you all the Best Year Ever, filled with Love and Joy and Peace and above all, The Happy.


alienorajt says:

Delighted to hear that the Benefit was a success, Joanne: well done, you! I must say, I tend to share your views on New Year – and, as for resolutions, well…to misquote Jack, from ‘Lord of the Flies,’ ‘Bollocks to Resolutions!’ What a cynic I am! Ah well: my birth month starts tomorrow; this means I shall be even older in a few days! xxx

I’m glad to hear the benefit went well, looking forward to more pics and vids as they emerge.
Hope you have a good night tonight, and that 2014 is kinder to you ❤

Andy says:

Hoping 2014 brings you peace and plenty of smiles.

JMC813 says:

One good thing to come from 2013 is I found your blog. Love your writing. Hope the Bullet Train reunion kicked ass and the benefit was a mind blowing success.
Glad to know ya and Hope 2014 brings success, happiness, and peace of mind.


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