joannebest











{December 26, 2013}   Day After Christmas Blues

mess
T’was the day after Christmas and all through the house was a huge mess left for me to clean up.
I’m cranky today.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I should be all kinds of happy and joy-filled and grateful for all the wonderful gifts I received blah blah blah.
It started off on a good note, the usual traditional scent of cinnamon rolls in the oven mixed with the smell of coffee brewing… I hate coffee, I’m a tea girl myself but I digress.
So there were lots of ooooh’s and ahhhh’s and I got many goodies that I will enjoy as soon as this stupid pounding headache goes away. The headache started yesterday some time around 1pm EST when the hubby picked up Dad and brought him over for Christmas dinner. While visions of happy filled my naΓ―ve mind I slowly deflated as it turned into Let’s Pick On Joanne Day aka Teasing Time.
You know that old saying about marrying your Father/Mother? Yeah, that.
If I was a man I’d say they were busting my balls. You know, all in the name of “fun”.
What makes men people think it’s a good thing to “tease” me other people relentlessly under the guise of “I’m just kidding, what is wrong with you?”?
Maybe I never noticed it as much when Mom was here. She could silence that kind of bullshit with one look. I have a little bit of that “Carey look” in me but yesterday it was MIA and I spent half the time fending off comments while the rest of the time I desperately missed my Mom.
I tried to get stay in a good place, dreading my first Christmas without Mom, and I did a pretty good job of it up till dinner time. That’s about the time I noticed I wasn’t even there. Oh, I was there physically but mentally, not so much. Robotic might be a better way to describe me yesterday.
So Dad decided he wanted to leave around 4pm, I grabbed my keys and bundled up and drove him home and he decided a good topic of conversation for the drive was telling me writing should not be my priority at all in any way shape or form. I’m wasting my time were the words he meant. Nothing I haven’t heard before, no one in my family takes me seriously when I say I’m writing; they snicker while, I might add, they have read nothing I’ve written. My Mom used to read my words and encouraged me, now that it’s me and 3 men in the family, without my Mom as backup, I’m pretty much on my own.
Yeah I know, it’s just a case of those Day After Christmas Blues and a pounding headache. And the lack of alone time which is as vital to me as breathing.
I dropped Dad off, walking him into the house to make sure he was fine then drove back to the place I’m supposed to call home.
It shouldn’t bother me that Dad didn’t give me a Christmas Gift, although he remembered to give gifts to his 6 grandchildren. And I don’t mean to sound bitter because I’m not, just a little bit of Β hurt feelings which I’ll get over.
When I got back home I changed into my new Christmas pajama’s and crawled in bed, doing nothing more than stare at the television watching the Doctor Who marathon and Christmas Special even though I was unintentionally spoiled on Twitter by some British people who live in the future and saw it before me, giving away way too much information.
I’ve got a bad case of the sads right now, it’s taking every bit of strength in me to not crawl back into bed and sleep away my worries.
Instead I shall attempt to shrug off my sads and clean up the mess left by the drinkers last night.
I really miss my Mom.
messcy

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I remember my first Christmas without my mom. It was so hard. It still is. I wish I could tell you it goes away, but I can only tell you that it changes. You will always miss her and holidays will change. Hugs



I know the feeling except I have been sad the entire time. The only happy time was when my girl opened her presents then I spent most of the Christmas Holiday alone. I’ve been missing my dad this is my 2nd Christmas without him and I miss he odd ways, he had Alzheimer’s so I have lots of funny memories. I used to read my writings to him and he would say OH that’s so good and then he would say read your something you wrote to me. He forgot so it was kind of funny in a bittersweet way. My mom is the one that is tough on me and doesn’t have a kind words to say of encouragement only tells me what I didn’t do right or say right. So I understand being blue at Christmas and it’s ok to be and feel like you feel. It does get better as you know once the holidays pass and life gets back to normal. Do something nice for yourself and give yourself a break it’s ok to be right where you are. I hope this encouraged you. I saw this and wanted to offer something good. Missing is the hardest thing I think sometimes. I decided I am going to my dad’s hunting cabin to plant a bush by his grave. His birthday is Jan. 1. Have a super day! Sorry if I over shared. LOL πŸ˜€



JMC813 says:

I really am at a horrible loss for words today and feel trapped in a state of leftover blahs, but wanted to share that my heart goes out to you, and without too much detail, I can relate to the state of mind you are in and the day after Christmas blues. Here is to them passing swiftly for both of us. To better times, and the fondest memories of the ones we love.



β™₯ hugs



JMC813 says:

Right back atcha. just that simple gesture made me smile and feel a bit better. Thanks.



Sometimes words can’t convey what we mean, so β™₯ and hugs can mean more… also, xox



JMC813 says:

So very true. So β™₯, hugs , and XOXO to you too my friend. Be well.



I understand how you feel. It took me a long time to get over having holidays and events in my life without my mom there. I don’t think it ever completely goes away, but it will soften a bit over time. Happy Holidays! Do some self-indulgent nurturing stuff for yourself.



come and have christmas at my house next year if you like. there wont be any teasing, you wont have to tidy anything and you can watch Doctor Who in the future πŸ™‚



Be careful what you wish for/invite, I just may take you up on that and I’ll even clean dishes long as we get to watch the Doctor in the future πŸ˜€ (pssst, β™₯β™₯β™₯) lol



I just stumbled onto your blog in response to your stumbling onto mine, and this is the first post of yours I’ve seen, so I have absolutely no context whatsoever for this — but I just wanted to send you my heartfelt sympathy because I know what you’re going through is difficult and (in some ways) quite solitary. I hope things have improved by now, and that the new year sees you enjoying writing success to shut up the people who don’t take your work seriously. I think most writers can relate to that need — certainly all the ones I know, and that’s a lot of them. All the best. πŸ™‚



The best thing I can come up with to your wonderfully heartfelt words is just this, thank you β™₯ and hugs and hello and thanks for coming over and commenting and getting it and I sometimes ramble πŸ˜€
Seriously though, thank you more than I can say xox



You’re so welcome. πŸ™‚ Hang in there, big hugs. I don’t know anything about the men in your life, but the ones in mine are good people but sometimes don’t realize how dismissive they can be. They just didn’t have very good training from their fathers. Every generation gets a little better.



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