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{August 30, 2013}   Guilty

guilty

I can’t not feel guilty.
Oh, I didn’t do anything to feel guilty about, and therein lies the problem: I didn’t do anything.
That’s a lie, let me rephrase that, I didn’t write nearly enough over the last eleventy or so days due to circumstances beyond my control also known as my very best friend in the world came to visit for eleventy days and it’s been over four years since we’ve seen each other due to the fact that it’s a long ride from Florida to New Jersey and vice versa.
I feel like I’m in confession so let me just get it over with so I can do my penance and move on:
guiltyart

{Deep Breath}
Bless me dear Readers for I have sinned. I allowed myself to spend time just being with my very best lifelong friend and in doing so I neglected my writing. Yes, I know, I have written a bit, I tried to write at least something here and there, but not nearly enough. And I have definitely not done anything remotely resembling enough reading of your words which, in truth, bothers me as much, if not more, than the writing.
Ok, maybe it’s a fifty/fifty split on that last one, if I’m confessing I must confess truthfully, unlike the confessions I made in Catholic School where I always began my list of sins with “Bless me Father for I have sinned…I lied ten times”, because I usually wound up making up sins because I was kind of a non-sinner back then. The way I saw it, I was covered because I already told Father Joseph that I lied.
I’m going into babble mode aren’t I?
I shouldn’t go into babble mode when I have real writing to do, as well as real reading, but I do tend to babble when I’m exhausted.
I also probably shouldn’t go into babble mode when I’m confessing my sins.
Except the truth is, that’s the extent of my confession, unless you want to count the fact that I allowed myself to eat a bunch of junk food but that shouldn’t really count because I’ve already been punished for that one; fibromyalgia and junk food are not in any way perfect together, so today, after getting back from the airport, all my intentions of writing collapsed with my own damn self because I crashed enough to have to lay my body down and sleep a few hours.
I feel guilty for those wasted hours sleeping but in truth, my mind was unable to do anything other than shut down for awhile.
To recap: me guilty for not writing and reading equals a blog-like post thingy because I miss you all. See? I get all kinds of corny when I’m fighting the fibro slide and say things like “I miss you all”, but ’tis true, and this is a confession so, truth.
Thank you for letting me unburden my soul. For reals.
writing
Tomorrow (or today to all you time travelers living in the future) I will be finishing up my Super Secret Chapter of The Awesome Fiction Relay Of Awesome http://thereclininggentleman.wordpress.com/2012/10/23/fiction-relay-homepage/ then continuing on with my Muse/Djinn series…oh and poetry because it spills out of my head without my permission sometimes so I have to go where my Muse leads me; if you’ve read any of the Adventures of me and my Muse (links and me, not perfect together right now) but the point is, my Muse is truly a harsh Mistress and I’m really babbling so I shall end this little missive with a final official apology and a very heartfelt Thank You, for reading, for commenting, for writing wonderful words I get to read and for truly being exactly who each and every one of you are.
And since you already got the Corny Alert, allow me to say thank you all for sharing pieces of yourself and making me feel comfortable enough to do the same.
Because, in my final Corny Thought, we are all connected, and for this, I feel truly Blessed.

Ok, tomorrow I’ll be less corny and more write-y. I have some twists and turns I need to get out of my head and on to the page, so we can catch up with Suzi’s Saga and find out what the hell is going on with Catt.
Boring words over, sleep now and writing like a fiend tomorrow.
Roger that.
writerworl

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Visiting with your friend is important; understanding from friends here missing you, equally important, hugs.



ksbeth says:

get in the no guilt zone and stay there. (as long as you can) welcome back )



You’re still making up sins! 😉 It’s ok, you’re ‘allowed’ to have a life. I’m no priest, but if it’s forgiveness you are seeking, you are forgiven 🙂 Thank you for sharing little pieces of you with us & for being a pretty awesome human-being. 🙂



Thank you more than I can say, I guess all those years of Catholic School, a hard habit to break. .. thank YOU for forgiveness :-D, apparently it’s a thing with me, and truly, thank you, your words came at a perfect time for me…so many thanks 😀



tedstrutz says:

Nothing wrong with sinning… especially if it’s with your BBF… and never feel guilty… that pen and piece of paper (translation: computer keyboard>/i>) will still be there when you get back… just be sure to get back.



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