{July 22, 2013}   Monday Morning Blahg-ing~The Full Moon Version

Things could get ugly.
No really, things could go either way today, despite my best efforts to remain in control of myself, all bets are off when it’s full moon time.
It’s one of the side effects of being born under the sign of Cancer. With Virgo rising, no less.
Take a heaping helping of emotional intensity, add a dash of thoughtful reflection mixed with a pinch of analytical observation, shake your money maker and there I am.
Not really a bad thing, that combination of traits, but when the moon is full I can easily turn into a lunatic.
Hey! You don’t have to agree so quickly! How about a ‘no, you couldn’t possibly turn into a lunatic’, or at least a look of feigned surprise just to make me feel better?
That’s because there’s a full moon tonight.
There are very few things in this world that can rescue me from a full moon funk yet as of this moment in time I can’t think of a single one of those few things.
And I’m convinced it’s all my fault. Somehow.
I’m overwhelmed and stretched thin and today is the first time in 12 days that I’ve been able to have some alone time.
Yeah, I know, it sounds like no big deal but believe me, keep a Cancer deprived of battery-recharge time for too long and things could get ugly. Fast.
All my escape routes are blocked with signs that say things like ‘Do Not Enter’,’Stop’, or that ever popular ‘Dead End’.
I don’t have a flare bright enough to bring the roadside assistance I need to keep me going but I have no choice, I have to keep me going and a backpack full of blah does not, I repeat not help me in any way shape or form.
I’ve been abandoned by my own personal magic genie.
It doesn’t escape my own notice that I contradict myself. I crave alone time and find myself feeling lonely simultaneously.
I’m an emotional wreck on a good day lately, a big fat full moon, as breathtakingly beautiful as it is, has the capacity to bring me to my knees and not in a good way.
Oh please, don’t give me that look, I’m not gonna fall for that innocent ‘how can being on your knees be a good?’ act, we’ve all been there and some of us have the scars to prove it.
Ok it’s clear to see I’m not getting anything accomplished by blah-ging, it’s getting uncomfortably close to a Pity Party-Table For One while the clock ticks on and my to-do list grows longer and my want-to-do list, well that list is starting to curl up and die.
Despite my best intentions, I find myself once again filling in the blanks with black crayons.
Floating alone on an island far out to sea, possibly somewhere in the Arctic.
Cold, frozen, abandoned and alone.
See what I mean?
I’ll take Mood Bouncing for $500 Mr. Trebeck.
Yes, Jeopardy is a very apt word for my state of mind today because of (say it with me) the full moon. And let’s not forget that the full moon vibe is not just 1 day, but 3 days, including the day before and after the official full moon.
Tonight’s full moon has more than one name, like last month’s full moon, this one is also a Super Full Moon. Oh yay she said all sarcastic-like.
July full moons also go by the names of Buck Moon (due to male deer beginning to sprout their antlers) and Thunder Moon (due to the higher instances of thunderstorms in July).
So judging by my current mood, I’m going with Thunder Moon because I’m all grumble and grouse today.
I’m beating myself up over my lack of attention when it comes to keeping up with my comments and if you’re reading this and I haven’t gotten to a comment you may have left, please forgive my lack of proper time management skills, I am determined to get myself into a pattern of regularity and get a chance to read and reply to any comments that you have so generously left here for me, it’s unforgivable and rude that I haven’t been on top of that, it’s one of my very favorite parts in this wonderful world of Word Press and I apologize for my behavior or lack thereof.
I’m also nearing the breaking point with worry and guilt about my Dad living alone now that Mom’s gone and I am embarrassed to admit that the lack of internet comes into play because if I don’t have internet access how can I write here? I have chunks of time this coming week where I’ll have no choice but to be internet-less because Dad’s having surgery tomorrow (he has skin cancer but it’s under control) followed by another eye doctor procedure where the doctor sticks a needle in his eyeball on Wednesday.(Ewwww!)
I’m thinking of asking my Dad to add internet to his cable and I will gladly pay for it.
I think when he realizes that I’ll be able to stay overnight more often he’ll say yes. This past weekend when I spent most of Saturday with him, we had a conversation,and for the very first time he acknowledged my desire to write, and he was surprisingly supportive.
It’s a strange thing, the way my relationship with my Father is strengthening since my Mom’s gone. And it’s the only good thing that has happened since she left us.
Well, I guess I’ve blahg-ed enough blahg for now. I have much to do and no get up and go to do it with.
I have a Very Important Writing Assignment I must dive into and get done.
Blahg-ing does not get me any closer to my VIWA so I shall wrap this up and leave you with this; although the Super Thunder Full Moon is inching closer, and my mood is a swinging pendulum getting perilously close to turning into a guillotine sharp enough to decapitate me, I’m one tough cookie, according to my folks, so bring it on Super Moon, there’s only room enough in this town for one Super Bitch and that’s me.
Do your worst Super Moon, this tough cookie won’t be cracked unless I say so, and just in case you forgot Super Moon, I may be a tough cookie on the outside but I am scrumptiously deliciously sweet on the inside.
We’ll see who’s left standing tomorrow morning when the sun comes out.


Andy says:

Thunder moon is definitely appropriate at the moment in little old England.
Best wishes towards your Dad (that eyeball thing, gross!) Good to hear your bridges are holding.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: