5 Ways To Survive The Inevitably Approaching Zombie Apocalypse
2. Make your home a fortress. Your home is your castle, if time allows, prepare a moat. Use piranhas and/or alligators if possible (depending on your location), or consider gasoline. If gasoline is not an option, try anything flammable (e.g. cooking oil, alcohol). When zombies fall into the gasoline-filled moat (and they will, zombies are very clumsy) shooting flaming arrows at them is recommended. Not only will this burn zombies but also, fire pretty.
3. Pick your battles. You may have to spend a lot of time with unfamiliar non-zombies if you choose to run (safety in numbers and all that). Try not to waste energy and strength fighting amongst yourselves (unless you are a disgruntled spouse who never bothered to divorce, this could be a perfect opportunity to end an unhappy marriage).
4. Think like a Girl Scout/Boy Scout and always be prepared. Have plenty of water and canned food stored away. Remember, there will be no weekly trips to the grocery story during a zombie apocalypse, better to serve boxed macaroni and cheese to your friends and family than to serve your own flesh so keep your pantry stocked and avoid strangers at all cost.
5. Keep a journal. If you don’t make it you’ll help future survivors know what not to do, if you do happen to survive you can start a publishing company, make a fortune, and possibly rule whatever is left of the world.