{May 27, 2013}   Turning Down The Noise (If Only For A Moment)

girl lookingup
It’s late.
Everyone is asleep except me.
Sleep eludes me as I toss and turn restlessly. My thoughts tangle and twist in my head and I try to grasp onto that one strand that will soothe me, allowing me to drift off into the Land of Nod.

It doesn’t work. I can’t turn my mind off.

I sigh along with the unending sound of snores filling the house, all out of tune. Even the cats are snoring along with the humans.
I can’t lie here anymore watching the time slip away so I get out of bed and slip my bare feet into my warm fuzzy Uggs. I wrap myself in my favorite fleece blanket and slip outside with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.

I sit on the deck in the back yard and watch the late night sky.
It’s a clear cold night and the stars sparkle and shine, a glittery compliment to the near-full moon. It’s so beautifully silent.
A perfect time for reflection. Time alone to think back on all the twists and turns of Life that led me right here to this very moment.
No one here but me, a few fireflies, and the glorious Heavens above.

I don’t want to reflect.

I don’t want to think about the would-haves and should-haves and could-haves.
I don’t want to think about the many roads I’ve travelled.
I don’t want to think of wrong or right or what’s best for me or anyone else for that matter.
Thinking back changes nothing and thinking forward, well that’s just wishing, isn’t it?

Part of me yearns to know what lies ahead, which roads I will travel as impending decisions weigh heavy on my mind.
But as I gaze into the darkness I spot a shooting star and marvel at the wonders of the unknown.

Later, I think to myself.
Eventually I’ll find out how the story ends.
For now, I want to stay in this moment, just me and a sky full of endless possibilities.


Andy says:

Poetic reflection.

sometimes the only way to sort your head out

Andy says:

That’s right. And as a night owl myself it resonates.

Lovely inner thoughts turned into excellent prose.

you are much too kind, is it wrong that I love it? πŸ˜‰ seriously though, when I reread it the words bring me right back to that exact moment, life is sometimes much too noisy, especially when Newark Airport is so close (as the crow flies) that sometimes I can see the wheels begin to lower as they approach for landing πŸ˜€

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