Everyone is asleep except me.
Sleep eludes me as I toss and turn restlessly. My thoughts tangle and twist in my head and I try to grasp onto that one strand that will soothe me, allowing me to drift off into the Land of Nod.
It doesn’t work. I can’t turn my mind off.
I sigh along with the unending sound of snores filling the house, all out of tune. Even the cats are snoring along with the humans.
I can’t lie here anymore watching the time slip away so I get out of bed and slip my bare feet into my warm fuzzy Uggs. I wrap myself in my favorite fleece blanket and slip outside with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.
I sit on the deck in the back yard and watch the late night sky.
It’s a clear cold night and the stars sparkle and shine, a glittery compliment to the near-full moon. It’s so beautifully silent.
A perfect time for reflection. Time alone to think back on all the twists and turns of Life that led me right here to this very moment.
No one here but me, a few fireflies, and the glorious Heavens above.
I don’t want to reflect.
I don’t want to think about the would-haves and should-haves and could-haves.
I don’t want to think about the many roads I’ve travelled.
I don’t want to think of wrong or right or what’s best for me or anyone else for that matter.
Thinking back changes nothing and thinking forward, well that’s just wishing, isn’t it?
Part of me yearns to know what lies ahead, which roads I will travel as impending decisions weigh heavy on my mind.
But as I gaze into the darkness I spot a shooting star and marvel at the wonders of the unknown.