{May 26, 2013}   Persephone Series

I’m getting antsy.
And Hades is getting on my last nerve.
I always gets like this when Springtime rolls around.
I start counting down the days until I can get the hell out of, well, Hell, while Hades does anything he can to throw obstacles in my path.
Sometimes I think it’s slipped his mind that he’s not the only one who has a degree in Passive-Aggressive Behavior. He may have been Valedictorian at Olympus University but I sailed through PAB classes with flying colors and I love a good mind-fuck even more than he does.
But I’ve grown weary of the games.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just that I’m tired. Spending so much time around somebody who can’t decide if they love you or hate you can drive even the most normal person insane and I am far from normal.
It’s only a few more days until I can go back home again but that’s a big part of my problem
I feel homeless.
Sure, I live here with my husband a good part of each year but it doesn’t feel like it’s my home.
And when I’m not here then I’m at my Mother’s house and lately even my Mother’s house doesn’t feel like home to me.
How is it that I find myself homeless?

I have this dream every once in awhile where I’m walking through a huge empty mansion overlooking the ocean. I know I’ve never been there but when I’m dreaming it seems so familiar.
When I wake up I feel as if something precious has been taken from me.

They say there’s no place like home but when there’s no place I can actually call home, then where do I really belong?

Lately I feel like I belong nowhere.
cerebus seff seffy

Three pair of dog-eyes follow my every move.
They know I’m getting ready to leave and they hate when I leave.
It was nice to be missed.
I wished I could take Cerbie with me.
“Don’t look at me like that Cerbs, you know he’d have a fit if I took you with me.”
Three howls disagreed with me.
“Come on guys,enough with the guilt-trip,I’m already on my Mother’s shit-list. She’d kill me if I brought you back with me, you know she’s allergic to dogs.”
A three-growl-harmony fills the room and I silently agree with them.
I was a little suspicious myself about my Mom’s sudden dog-allergy but nothing to do about it now.
“I know, I’m gonna miss you too but it’s just for a couple of months. You know I always come back.”

And I always did come back, like it or not.
Part habit, part obligation. Either way I had no choice.
Every year around this time I left Hell and went back home for a few months.

My Mother always went all out when I came home.
I know she’ll have fields of flowers awaiting me but the truth is, I’m getting a little tired of this constant back-and-forth.
I’m also getting a little tired of the Dutiful-Daughter role but I wouldn’t dare even whisper that thought out-loud.
My Mom was a lot more sensitive than anyone realized and her temper rivalled Hades’ in intensity, at least when it came to me.

I close my last suitcase and reach into my dresser to grab some treats for my three-headed-dog. My hands lingered over the tiny bottle of water I’d filled from the River Lethe.
I was tempted to drink it myself but there wasn’t enough water in Hell to make me forget that this was nothing more than a vacation.

I’d be back too soon for my liking.
But a deal’s a deal.
per sefdem sef


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