{May 21, 2013}   Daily Post~Bittersweet Memories/Gift

We’ve always wished to one day see Cape May frosted with snowflakes. It’s a magical place, a place where my Mom and I would retreat to at least twice a year for some Mother/Daughter time and a plan-less week where we could do anything or nothing, whatever mood would strike us at the time would lead us to our sanity.
It had been 2 years since we’d gone away together, after the Hurricane Irene mess was finally behind us we booked the first available week which happened to be the last week of March 2013. Somehow we got our favorite room on the 3rd floor overlooking everything we loved, the previous 2 years had been so stressful we didn’t do much more than relax. It was a perfect week and imagine our joy upon seeing an out-of-nowhere snowstorm. Beautiful perfection!
I had no way of knowing that would be our last trip together.
I had no way of knowing my beloved Mother would pass away less than a month later.

I didn’t take as many photographs as I usually do this time, I don’t know why.
I did snap a few photos of the snow, one in particular of some kind of cabbage-type flower thing my Mom loved. It was dusted with snow and I wanted her to see how it looked. She didn’t want to walk around in the snow so I set out with my camera and took video so we could watch it together. She loved looking out the window just watching, so my camera became the window for her to see the miraculous snowstorm.

It was just a one day snow event, but it was something we’d both yearned to see. On the way out of town we did our usual stop at Uncle Bills Pancake House overlooking the ocean. My Mom and I are alike in many ways and one of those likenesses was always dread at the thought of having our pictures taken so while we sat there eating the best pancakes in the world I covertly took a photo of her.
I had no way of knowing it would be the last photograph I, or anyone else, would take of my Mother.
And I had no way of knowing the pain of losing her would be this devastating.
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missprettyreckless says:

My respects. I am sorry to hear about your mothers passing. I send you all my warm hugs! I know how it feels to loose someone you love so much, its damn painful. But its true what they say, the good memories are the ones to cherish.

thank you, and i’m taking those hugs, every single one and send my own in return, i just knew that not only are you missprettyreckless, you are truly missprettyfuckingawesome πŸ˜€ xx

missprettyreckless says:

Awww thank you for the compliment. But you are awesome as well.. stay strong, I would like to say that it gets easy but it doesnt but we learn how to deal with it and just see the positive things in the end

((huge hugs))

So sorry about your Mom. Cape May is so pretty, even after Irene and Sandy. It was a “gift” that you both were able to spend time there before she passed. Sometimes looking at things in that way help ease the pain a bit.

Thank you so much, it’s so beautiful and magical there, I’m trying to get to that place where i can truly think back and only smile, maybe i’ll even be able to work up the courage to go back there again, and thank you for commenting, your words help me a lot ❀

Andy says:

What great memories that last trip has given you though. These are what we cling to.

you’re right, and i’m an eternal memory-clinger, one day soon i will be able to relive every moment, i’m trying this new thing, trying to be positive because she would kick my ass for being a crybaby for so long πŸ™‚

the flowers… the snow… the views… the pancakes… you couldnt ask for a more perfect last trip together. The pain will pass in time but the happy memories of this trip and all those others before it will remain.

that’s what i’m holding on to, that hope-no that knowledge that everything you say will come true, i am so grateful and so lucky to have more time with her than most do, thank you, the way you put it makes me feel better about things, and even though it pained me to write about it, it also felt good, if that makes sense

that does make sense, and it’s good to hear.

❀ thank you


thank you, it was tough to tackle but i was rewarded with the discovery of some lovely angelic writing πŸ˜€

You must point me in the direction

oh you are more than familiar with that direction, you do own the road after all

great post Joanne

my father died in 08….death is so tough dude…..

it really is 😦
so sorry to hear you lost your father in 08, does it always feel this bad for so long? I know it’s only been a month (and 5 days but who’s counting?) but I feel like I’ll never shake it off

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