joannebest











{August 19, 2013}   Asses And Awards ~ Blahg Words

dress
My newbie status is showing.
I feel like the girl who went to the ladies room and unknowingly got her skirt all tangled up with her stockings, strutting around a room full of people thinking she’s all kinds of cool only she isn’t.
Ok so yeah, I do have what is referred to as a nice ass, but I don’t want it on display for the entire world to see. (although I’m ok with parts of the world seeing my nice ass, just not the entire world)
What does my nice ass have to do with my newbie status you may ask?
Ahem, go on, ask, I’ll wait here till you do.
{cue Jeopardy theme song}
Yes, you in the red shirt in the back of the room? (you might want to re-think your color choice, red shirts always get killed first)
Thank you for asking, you’re very kind, but my nice ass really doesn’t have anything to do with my newbie status, I just threw that in there because, you know, sex sells.
So here’s the thing, I keep seeing all these award thingies on your blogs.
I don’t get it, hence the newbieness showing.
And to make it worse, I have been nominated for one of those award thingies and I did nothing about it because, umm, because, well, Ididn’tknowwhattodosoIignoreditandnowIfeeldumb.
I know, I shouldn’t be all award hungry, awards are cool and should be legitimately earned but damn they sure look pretty when I see them elsewhere.
Is there a Pity Award? How about a Pathetic Award? Maybe a You’re Too Stupid To Get An Award Award? Or a You Missed Your Chance Bitch So Deal With It Award?
I once got an award for bowling when I was in Junior High School. It was for last place and it was the back end of a jackass.
OH! LOOK! There is a connection between asses and awards!
Because everyone wants a Last Place Award, right?
Ok, I jest. Mostly. I know it’s not about the awards, it’s about the words. It’s also about you dear reader, because when it comes down to it, there is no greater Award than the feeling that comes from knowing you have taken the time to read my words.
In the end, no amount of Awards can beat that.
awardrear



Lovely, funny, quirky and sweet, Joanne. Alienora



I agree! Every once in awhile I know my words have actually touched someone. It is a good feeling :)



Funny girl! This was fun and something most of us have felt…the ass thing.



Er fellow newbie-ish here. Completely understand. There needs to be some kinda manual for this!



Seb says:

I don’t know. I think we need photos of this ass to substantiate your claims of niceness. A lot of people on the internet will *say* they have a nice ass, you know :-)



Yeah, I know what you mean, but if you read it on the Internet doesn’t that mean it HAS to be true? I read that on the Internet ;-) besides, just because I haven’t labeled a photo ‘my ass’ doesn’t mean I haven’t posted a photo which includes my own fine ass, ya know? Seek and ye shall find. Ha!



Seb says:

I dunno. I just googled your ass and the only thing I got was your blog. You sure say “ass” a lot.



I do say ass alot now that you mention it…huh…but I meant on my blog, I’m not saying which ass is mine, just sayin that there is a pic of me which includes my uh rear end (is that better than saying ass? ) ;-)



I thought I replied to this? Maybe WP has an ass rule ;-D



This one too! Did you unapprove your own comment? Because I sure didn’t, I had fun replying! WTF?



Andy says:

You can have a nice ass award then:)
I will ask my other half what awards I could qualify for. On second thoughts, best not go there.



Hee! She may surprise you, perhaps you’ll get the Best Husband Ever Award :-D



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